Top 10 Tens
When Asterion suggested a Top 10 list of the best 10s, I'm pretty sure the concept was more supposed to be examining the numerology used across a variety of languages and written forms and compare those to each other. But uh, that would require a bunch of research on my part. You know what takes a lot less effort? Phoning it in. So here's this, err, let's call it "alternate interpretation" of the theme.
10. This Entry
Say you're making a list of great things, and some aspect of that list qualifies for inclusion on said list. By default, you're required to include it. It's like a hierarchy thing, don't ask me to explain it. All I know is that Number 10 on the list of Top 10 Greatest Tens has to be in the list of Top 10 Greatest Tens. But for those who are still uncertain, I will point out that this entry is so goddamn good that it also deserves to be included entirely on its own merit.
9. The Tenth Doctor
If you're a fan of Doctor Who and you're not an old person, there's a good chance that David Tennant's take on the Doctor is your all-time favorite. And for good reason; his particular blend of emotion, grit, and eccentricity was a perfect mix that hasn't yet been matched (I assume. To be honest I dropped off after the Capaldi switch and nowadays I can never keep track of where this show is actually streaming. But like, if 10 isn't still the best I'm pretty sure I would have heard about it by now).
8. The Eureka! Timberline
Obviously, this list wouldn't be complete without the first consumer tent light enough for backpacking use. Although the Boy Scouts of America don't appear to have ever formally endorsed a tent, this one was the clear favorite of camping youths through the 70s and 80s; not only that, but—oh, wait... oh for fuck's sake, this list is about tens, not tents. Goddamn it. This is what I get for writing this shit late at night.
7. 10 O'Clock
When it comes to times of the day, 10 o'clock is probably the most well-rounded you can get. In the morning, it's a good time to meet up with someone to start a day out, or it's a good time to sleep in to. In the evening, it can be time to go to bed, or it can be the time that the night truly begins. Odds are, 10 o'clock is not a time you often find yourself hungry; and yet, depending on your schedule, it might be the perfect time for breakfast or brunch, a mid-morning snack, a nightcap, a late dessert, or an incredibly late supper. The most productive conversations at work happen at 10 am, and the most productive conversations with your friends happen at 10 pm. No other time can match the sheer utility of 10 o'clock.
6. That part in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Indy points to various numbers around the library and has difficulty locating the ten before ultimately finding the Roman numeral X painted on the floor
Look, I admit that if you put any thought into this scene, it's actually kind of dumb. Indy looks at the numbers in the stained-glass window and instinctively realizes that he has to find them within the library? And then the first two are engraved on pillars but the last one doesn't follow this pattern and is instead painted on the floor? And the ten is the only one of them that's actually important? Yeah, this whole thing is just a set-up for the "X marks the spot" gag, and it's hard to forgive it for that. But I'm going to regardless because it's still fun. Anyway, go punch a Nazi.
5. The $10 Bill
If you can only carry one denomination of physical cash in your pocket, make it the $10 bill. It has more buying power than the $1 or $5, so it's more convenient to use. On the flip side, it's less of a commitment than the $20 and nowhere near as annoying to make change for. You can use it for large purchases, small purchases, and even tipping without making it weird. As a bonus, Hamilton doesn't carry anywhere near the same baggage that Jackson does.
4. Audrey Hepburn
Yes, physical attractiveness of humans is very subjective and tastes will vary wildly, and that's a good thing. But like, is there anybody out there who doesn't have it for Audrey Hepburn? We can all collectively agree she's a 10, right?
Note: Skep's Place does not endorse ranking physical appearance via numerical scale or otherwise.
3. Hang Ten
Did you know that "hang ten" isn't just a term for surfing, but actually refers to a move where you stand on the front of the board with all of your toes jutting out off of the edge? Isn't it wild that standing at the front of the board without tipping over is even possible? I mean, I'm impressed that anybody can even stand on a floating board to begin with; meanwhile, I occasionally fall out of bed. Anyway, it's an awesome move that gave us a really cool phrase that got really overused in the 90s, so it has to be on this list.
2. 10s in Countdowns
If I asked you what the most important number in a countdown was, what would you say? A lot of you might say "one". This, of course, is absolutely, unequivocally wrong. You're not counting down to one. One does not signify the cool thing. One only signifies that the cool thing is about to happen. No, the most important number in a countdown is, in fact, ten. The countdown doesn't start without the ten. If you say "Ten!" forcefully, and in that one specific tone of voice, everybody knows you're doing a countdown and will instinctively join in. While you can technically start on any number, ten is by far the best; five doesn't leave enough time to become adequately hyped, while twenty is simply far too long to be standing around shouting numbers. No, ten is the unsung hero here, and it's time for it to receive its due credit.
1. Pelé
Listen, I may be a dumb-ass American who is largely clueless about the sport beloved by the entire rest of the world, but even I know that Pelé needs to go on top of this list. Everybody knows him. Everybody respects him. And boy was it incredibly convenient for me compiling this list that he wore the number 10.