Skep's Place

 

Top 10 Names for Cats Inspired By Heavy-Duty Construction Equipment


The other night, I was informed by my wife that her co-worker had adopted a stray kitten. This person’s partner named the kitten “Dozer”, as it had been found at a construction site. I accepted that this was the only scenario in which a cat could be named Dozer; that, of course, spun off into determining what other construction equipment could work as cat names. Here are ten of our best.

10. Derrick

side-by-side images of a derrick on a pier and a brown tabby cat, sticking its tongue out with a goofy expression

If you wanted to name your cat after construction equipment, you could go with Derrick. I don’t know why you would though. Don’t name your cat Derrick. It deserves better.

9. Dredge

side-by-side images of a dredger ship on open water and a fluffy gray wildcat with an annoyed expression in front of a rock

The mouth-feel on this one is just... well, like chewing on a mouthful of the kind of soggy, gravelly silt that is the kind of stuff one uses a dredger for. Still not as dumb of a name as Derrick though.

8. Pile Driver

side-by-side images of an orange pile driver vehicle in an empty brown lot and a skinny brown-and-white cat that appears to be meowing, giving it an unhinged expression

Obviously, this one goes to the top of the list if you are a wrestler moonlighting as a construction worker. Or a construction worker-themed wrestler.

7. Steamroller

side-by-side images of an orange steamroller on a dirt road and an orange tabby cat from above as it rolls in the grass

This name should be a top consideration if your cat is a real chonker.

6. Excavator

side-by-side images of an orange backhoe-style digger pulling up a bucket of dirt and a gray tabby cat on an asphalt or metal surface with its ears back as it eats pieces of food from a shallow bowl

Think about a cat eating from its food bowl and tell me it doesn’t look exactly like a backhoe.

5. Jack/Jackie

side-by-side images of the bottom half of a person wearing orange and blue coveralls using a jackhammer on the asphalt and a dirty white-and-black cat in winter, peering around a concrete wall with murder in its eyes

Short for jackhammer. Or you could just call your cat “Jackhammer”, which is pretty bitchin’. Or “Jack ‘the Hammer’” to turn your cat into an instant legend.

4. Cement Mixer

side-by-side images of a standalone cement mixing bucket on a dirty construction site and a cat perched on a stool next to the bathroom window, looking curiously at the camera and holding a toy mouse in its mouth

Man, that’s the thing about cats. You can just call them any old shit and somehow it’ll still fit.

3. Cherry

side-by-side images of a half-dozen green cherry picker platforms raised into the air and a fluffy gray cat sitting on a thin tree branch with its front paws hanging down

Since Cherry is a perfectly lovely and innocuous-sounding representation of cherry picker vehicles, this one’s a real “I don’t want to have to explain the backstory behind my cat’s name to everyone I meet” entry. Feel the euphoric glee of superiority, for only you know that you named your cat after a bucket truck.

2. Wrecking Ball

side-by-side images of a crane swinging a wrecking ball into a partially-demolished building and a dark gray tabby cat hiding in a cardboard box, eyes peeking over the top and ready to pounce

We’re talking about cats here. I don’t need to justify this.

1. Dumpy

side-by-side images of a dump truck on a city street with its container tilted back and a brown and black tabby cat laying in front of a pink background with a pink, crumpled-up tissue resting on its head, grumpily looking at the camera and pitifully meowing as though asking “am I joke to you?”

Dump trucks: not cute.
Dumpy the Cat: unfathomably cute.

You cannot tell me you wouldn’t laugh at your cat’s expense every time you called out “Dumpy!”. Because you would. You absolutely would.