Chapter 26: Israel Hands
“Hey,” says Israel Hands, “you think you might want to chuck the dead guy overboard? I’m kinda tired of looking at him.”
“Nah,” says Jim.
“Oh,” replies Hands. “Well it’s really starting to make me fixate on what happens to us after we die and shit, and it’s only going to get worse if I keep drinking this brandy. You mind going downstairs and finding me a drink that will help me sober up? You know, like wine.”
Jim thinks this request is as stupid as you or I do, especially since part of his bravado last chapter included savoring a drink from the water cooler sitting five feet away; and anyway, he tells us that the deception is so clear on the pirate’s face that a child could spot it. But, thinking on his feet, he replies that it will take him a few minutes to dig through the mess down there. He ducks below deck as requested, but takes his shoes off and sneaks to the front of the ship, popping his head back up to catch sight of Hands standing up, retrieving a nearby dagger, hiding it in his jacket, and sitting back down as if nothing happened.
Although Jim is kind of dumb, he’s not dumb enough to misinterpret how Hands intends to use that dagger. He now knows that Hands is both armed and mobile, while the pirate believes Jim to be none the wiser—a significant advantage for the lad. For the moment, though, he understands that he’s at least safe until the ship makes landfall, as they both share a mutual interest in keeping the Hispaniola sailing.
As afternoon shifts to evening, they steer the ship into the inlet on the north side of the island, where Jim intends to land. Although the presence of a decaying shipwreck would indicate otherwise, with Hands’ careful instruction, navigating the inlet is so easy a child can do it (literally). It isn’t long before Jim, working the tiller, settles the ship into place.
However, he was so focused on the effort of landing the Hispaniola that he took his attention off Hands; and now that the ship no longer needs tending, the pirate uses this opportunity to make his attack, lurching toward Jim with the dagger drawn. He charges; Jim dodges, releasing his grip on the tiller, which swings around to strike Hands across the chest, buying the kid some time to put distance between them. Reaching midship, he draws one of his pistols—which, although slightly less so this time, I’m still caught off-guard every time he pulls out a gun because he never mentions having them. Watching Hands take the dagger earlier would have been a great opportunity for Jim to allude to the pistols in his pocket as a defensive option, but I guess Robinson likes to keep everybody surprised.
Apparently even Jim forgot he had pistols until now, too, because as Hands advances again, he pulls the trigger… and nothing happens. This is because the powder got wet during his boating shenanigans, and instantly Jim is kicking himself for not remembering to reload the damn thing when he had a chance.
Knowing that further retreat would be foolish—Hands would just box him in at the front of the ship—he hides behind the mainmast, putting it between him and the dagger. The two of them spend a few moments doing the dance of leaning left and right around the post, trying to psyche out the other. This only lasts until the wind pushes the Hispaniola hard against the shore, knocking them both off their feet and tilting the ship at a 45-degree angle. Caught by the railing, they both scramble to get upright again, but Jim manages it first because Hands gets tangled up with the body of the dead man—which is now here at midships instead of the aft deck, but whatever. Dodging a strike from the dagger, Jim jumps up to the shrouding of the mizzenmast, climbing his way up the ropes to the crossbeam that holds the sail.
Hands hesitates to follow, knowing that the climb will be slow and painful in his wounded state; but seeing little other option, he grips the dagger in his teeth and begins to ascend. This laborious process gives Jim plenty of time to reload his pair of pistols. Once properly rearmed, he brandishes both guns at the pirate akimbo-style, threatening, “One more step, Mr. Hands, and I’ll blow your brains out!” Which 1) is a level of badass I don’t feel that Jim has earned quite yet, and 2) is a phrase I really thought would have had more modern origins, but here we are.
The pirate recognizes he’s fully at a disadvantage now, and he takes the dagger out of his teeth so he can begin negotiating surrender. Jim, riding high on his victory, fails to notice Hands wind his arm back until the dagger is thrown; then, there’s a flash of pain in his shoulder, and the feeling of being pinned to the mast. The sudden injury startles him into firing his pistols, which both fall from his grasp.
Israel Hands falls as well, dead before his body hits the water.