Chapter 103: Fire Can Solve All My Problems
The book makes a point of offhandedly mentioning that Wei Yan is disgruntled after the last battle. However, it provides zero justification why, especially considering that it was a clear victory and he wasn't poorly-utilized in the battle. Maybe he was mad somebody else won the glory of nabbing Sima Yi's helmet.
At this point, news arrives in Wei that Wu has finally decided to launch their own invasion, after having committed to it an entire chapter ago. Emperor Cao Rui orders Sima Yi to dig in and play strict defense against Shu while he takes the narrative to the southern border for the first time in a while.
Cao Rui takes marches his troops to meet the Wu lines. When he arrives, his advisor suggests, hey, you know how one of the most common tactics in this book is for the camped army to attack the arriving army right when they get in so they're still exhausted? Let's flip the script and attack their camps with our exhausted troops tonight, they'll never expect it.
Long story short, Wu doesn't expect it, and their camps get burned out. Lu Xun tries to coordinate a response with one of the other Wu armies to cut off Cao Rui's retreat, but the messenger is captured, so that never happens.
So Lu Xun shrugs and says, well, that's all the ideas I had. I guess we should just go home then.
Zhuge Liang receives this news and begins to grow despondent; this alliance has clearly been paying off for him. He takes on more management responsibility because having to rely on the simpletons is constantly his biggest headache.
Now, since Wei has been stuck in a fortress all this time not doing anything, the Shu army has basically resorted to helping the Wei citizens with the farming in exchange for a cut of the grain. They're also erecting storage silos all over, indicating that they're planning on sticking around for the long haul.
Sima Yi isn't keen on doing a whole lot at the moment, but a couple of Xiahou Yuan's sons figure, you know, none of the Shu troops are really in battle mode right now, they'd be easy pickings. I don't know how Sima Yi keeps falling for this shit; every time one of his men comes to him saying "hey, this should be a really easy fight", it always ends in disaster.
But once again, Sima Yi figures, what's the worst that can happen? And he sets off to attack Zhuge Liang's main camp.
OF COURSE this large-scale infrastructure project was a ruse. IT'S ALWAYS A RUSE.
Eventually, Sima Yi runs into Wei Yan. And Sima Yi pulls out his spear.
For the record, this is the first indication we've had that Sima Yi knows anything about martial combat. This guy used to be a secretary. He's never been shown getting directly involved in the stabbing. And yet, after a few quick clashes between the two men, Wei Yan turns tail and runs.
Now if you're Sima Yi—Wei's absolute best mind when it comes to military trickery—do you really think you just won a spear fight against Wei Yan? The guy who leads the Shu vanguard? Really? You really think you did that?
Okay.
Well anyway, he chases Wei Yan into a gorge. Where it turns out all the grain "silos" that were built in here are actually incredibly, incredibly combustible. And in no time at all, the whole gorge is set alight, just like that war crime Zhuge Liang pulled against the Man warriors.
This comes impossibly close to being the end of Sima Yi. Fortunately for him, a huge storm rolls in and douses the flames at the last possible moment, and he's not only able to retreat out of the gorge, but he also makes it back to his camp to fend off an attack that's happening there.
It's also kind of a lucky storm for Wei Yan, too, who would theoretically still have been in the gorge after having lured Sima Yi in. Apparently in alternate versions of the story, Zhuge Liang intended for Wei Yan not to escape the flames, giving him a means to eliminate whatever vague threat the book keeps ham-fistedly foreshadowing. But that would clash with the benevolent characterization this particular author is using for Zhuge Liang, so that part gets left out.
Anyway, when Sima Yi gets back from this close call, he takes a page out of Skep's book and says, listen here, we're all going to sit here and play defense, and the next person who even says the word "attack" to me is getting their head chopped off.
Well, Sima Yi stays entrenched for so long that Zhuge Liang eventually sends Sima Yi a present... which is a maiden's gown and headdress. The insinuation being that Sima Yi may as well be an unwed woman, forced to remain in the confines of her boudoir until she can be married off.
Which is a joke that really relies on a society built on patriarchal ideals and the oppression of women to function properly. But if you're already bought into that, then it's probably a funny dig.
Sima Yi is furious, of course, but he restrains himself and asks the delivery boy, how is Zhuge Liang doing these days, anyway? The delivery boy tells him, well, Zhuge Liang doesn't sleep much, works all day, and eats very little. All facts that Sima Yi finds veeerrry interesting.
Because as we cut back to Zhuge Liang, we find out that he has read the stars, and they're telling him he ain't got a lot of time left on this earth.
...But he can't be done yet! He hasn't yet fulfilled his promise to Liu Bei to destroy the traitors and restore the Han! Surely, if he presents his case to the heavens, he will be given a little more time!
So he sets up a ritual to appease the heavens and determine what kind of time frame he's looking at. In the center of his ritual, there's a lantern; if it's still lit after seven days have passed, the heavens will have indicated their pleasure and provide him the time he needs to complete his mission.
While Zhuge Liang is doing all this, the camera cuts back again to Sima Yi. He, too, reads the stars and realizes, oh shit, Zhuge Liang is done for. And if that's the case, the Shu army is going to be in a lot of turmoil trying to plan a funeral and reassign all the duties he took upon himself. Essentially, they are going to be very, very distracted. An easy target.
He finally breaks his defensive lines to move in.
By this point, it's day six of the ritual. As Zhuge Liang begins to breathe easy, Wei Yan rushes into his tent to alert him that the Wei army is approaching.
And in his haste, he kicks over the lantern, and the light inside goes out.