Chapter 101: Spooky Season
Having had to derail his campaign against Wei to defend his honor, Zhuge Liang shows up at the capital to convince Liu Shan that he's not planning to usurp Shu. Like, at all. In response, Liu Shan looks up from his Game Boy and blinks stupidly a few times until he remembers what Zhuge Liang's talking about. Then he says, oh, haha, that was just a silly little thought I had! Don't worry, I actually trust you, I promise. So uh, how's the war going?
Rolling his eyes at that interruption, Zhuge Liang begins preparations and then launches campaign number... five, maybe? His plan this time—since it's harvesting season—is to harvest the grain his soldiers need from the fields on his way so he doesn't have to worry about transporting food around as much, since that really seems to be one of his big problems. Sima Yi assumes that this is what Zhuge Liang intends to do and prepares an attack; but of course, Zhuge Liang knows that Sima Yi knows what Zhuge Liang is doing, and has counter-measures ready.
So Sima Yi's cavalry rock up, and they see Zhuge Liang dressed all spooky-like, being carted around by a handful of folks who are also dressed up all spooky-like. It's a little too early in the season for Halloween yet, so you'd think Sima Yi would realize something's up, but nope. They start chasing the Shu troops.
They chase for miles, but Sima Yi's cavalry somehow can't catch up to the guys on foot pushing a cart. That's not Skep being snarky; Sima Yi realizes, damn, Zhuge Liang expended a spell slot to cast Longstrider on himself, we'll never catch him.
Turns out he doesn't have to, because then Sima Yi gets attacked on all sides by four of these spooky-like, becarted Zhuge Liangs. The Wei army is frightened all to hell, and Sima Yi runs to the nearest city, slams the door shut, and hides under the bed.
For the record, it wasn't magic. Except maybe the part where the cavalry couldn't catch up; that one isn't explained. But the multiple Zhuge Liangs were just carvings of himself he had made prior to the expedition. You know, like a normal person assumes he's going to need on campaign.
There's another battle a bit later on where Sima Yi attacks the city in which Zhuge Liang is drying all the wheat they harvested, and I only mention it because Zhuge Liang orders ambushes hidden in the wheat fields, but like... but didn't you just harvest all the wheat?
After all this nonsense, Zhuge Liang eventually gets a letter telling him that Wei and Wu have made peace, and that Wei has asked Wu to invade Shu. And he's like, ah bugger, I gotta get back home for that.
Zhang He wants to attack the retreating troops, and for some reason this time Sima Yi lets him; but he says, hey, every time Zhuge Liang has done this he's left ambushes behind, so be extra careful for those, okay? Zhang He replies, yeah yeah, avoid the ambushes, I know the drill.
Of course he gets killed after Wei Yan and Guan Xing ambush him.
Zhuge Liang arrives back home, ready to defend against Wu, and everyone's like, uhhh... aren't you supposed to be out invading Wei? Like, we've been told you're all set for grain and stuff, and you've been doing nothing but winning. So why are you here?
Well, it turns out that the new guy he hired to manage the grain supplies mucked it up too, so he made up the report about Wu invading so Zhuge Liang would have to retreat before he found out he wasn't getting any grain in. Even though he was supposed to be good on grain since he was harvesting it.
Foolproof plan for that new guy though, no way that could backfire.