Chapter 27: Hopping the Border
"Hey Cao Cao, Guan Yu left." "Oh. That's sad." "I can go run out and stop him." "No, no, I promised him he could go. But actually yes, go stop him because I want to say goodbye, even though I was too petty to do it when he came to my home yesterday."
Anyway, Guan Yu and the ladies Liu are on their way to Yuan Shao's territory. They soon reach a pass where there's a checkpoint manned by some of Cao Cao's officers.
"Hey, are you Guan Yu?" "Yep." "Where are you going?" "Going to meet up with my brother who's with Yuan Shao." "I see. You have your papers?" "No. I didn't have time to file the forms." "Then you're going to have to die—HRRK."
This plays out four more times, where each checkpoint guard plots to kill Guan Yu. Each time, Guan Yu is saved from ambush by increasingly contrived coincidences; then he kills the guard and moves on. Yes, I did just summarize 90% of the chapter in two sentences.
Eventually, Guan Yu and the ladies finally cross the river into Yuan Shao's territory. They meet with one of Liu Bei's advisors, who says "Congratulations! But your brother is in another castle!"
"Well, where did he go?" "Oh, he left Yuan Shao and set up in Runan." "What the shit, Runan? Isn't that in Cao Cao's territory?" "How the hell should I know? I think it's up here with Yuan Shao." "Then why did Cao Cao send me to deal with Yellow Turbans there last chapter?!" "Heck if I know." "This book really needs a map."
However, the conversation is interrupted by a familiar voice.
"I spy..." says the voice. "Please stop," pleads Guan Yu. "With my little eye..." "I SAID NO." "Hmph," grumbles Xiahou Dun. "Anyway I'm here to stop you."