Skep's Place


Chapter 8: Outrunning Your Halberd

I commented at the beginning of the last chapter that I guess everybody forgot about Dong Zhuo being terrible for the empire and its people. And maybe that's true, but inside the new capital, he's making it pretty hard to ignore. What with committing atrocities in front of his ministers and acting like it's fun and all.

Wang Yun has been very stressed out about this lately. Not only because of Dong Zhuo, but also, he was the guy who lent Cao Cao the jeweled dagger in the botched assassination attempt. And if you don't want entire generations of your family to be put to death, you kind of don't want it getting out you were associated with such a thing.

Now, it so happens that in his household there is a young woman coming of age, Diaochan, who Wang Yun took in as a girl and had raised in the arts of song and dance. So she feels like she owes Wang Yun an awful lot, and she's willing to do anything it takes to ease his troubles and serve the empire, because Diaochan is a good egg. And Wang Yun strikes upon an idea. A really good idea.

The next day, he has Lu Bu over for dinner. Diaochan flirts with the warrior, and he's absolutely sucked in. So Wang Yun suggests he offer Diaochan to Lu Bu as a wife. Lu Bu eagerly accepts, and Wang Yun promises to deliver her to him soon.


The day after that, Wang Yun has Dong Zhuo over for dinner, and brings out Diaochan to perform. After seeing her, Dong Zhuo is like, hmm, you know, I think I'd really like to have that woman.

And Wang Yun is like, sure, I think that'd be great. In fact, she can even go home with you tonight.

Well, Lu Bu catches wind of this and confronts Wang Yun, who plays innocent and goes, "Gee, Dong Zhuo told me he was going to escort her over to you!" Of course, Dong Zhuo wasn't going to do anything of the sort, because he didn't even KNOW she had been promised to Lu Bu.

Lu Bu peeks in on them the next morning, and, oh yeah, they spent the night together. And every time Diaochan catches sight of Lu Bu, she plays her part beautifully, acting like her heart has been destroyed by this series of events, and he eats that shit right up.

Lu Bu eventually meets with her in Dong Zhuo's garden one day, and she lays on the melodrama, even threatening to drown herself in the pond because she has been stolen from the mighty Lu Bu, with whom her heart lies, and who should truly answer to no man.

Well, Dong Zhuo arrives home right about now, sees them embracing in the garden together, and he chases Lu Bu the hell out. Going so far as to chuck the warrior's own halberd at him as he flees, which is honestly probably the funniest visual in the entire novel.

That's where the chapter leaves off, but uh, yeah, it's pretty safe to say that things are maybe not so good between Dong Zhuo and Lu Bu anymore.

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