Skep’s
Place.

100 Odd Questions to Have Fun Answering

Ah, what the hell, let’s do another one. Credit this time goes to Sam.

1. Would you rather never need to sleep again or never need to eat again?

PLEASE let me skip sleeping. I have so much I need to get done. And so many video games I want to play. Pleasepleaseplease

2. If your brain was a place, what would it look like?

I imagine it would be a small, simple space with a minimalist design and tasteful Scandinavian furniture. And a loudspeaker in the corner constantly yelling at me to do shit.

3. When playing Two Truths and a Lie, what are your three go-to facts?

1. When I play Monopoly, I prefer to play as the top hat.
2. When I play Clue, I prefer to play as Colonel Mustard.
3. When I play chess, I prefer to play as white.

4. What is a topic you could talk about for hours?

For hours? Yikes, I don’t know. I’ve already spent hours writing about Calvin & Hobbes and I’m not even close to done, does that count?

5. Which songs do you normally gravitate towards when doing karaoke?

I’ve never done karaoke, but there’s a solid chance if I did I’d be belting out Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out for a Hero.

6. What is a word that you wish existed in your language but doesn’t?

Can I alter the question a bit? I don’t have a word in mind, but I have complained in the past that that we need a font styling that provides more emphasis than italics but less emphasis than bolding. I’d be happy with that.

7. If you had to work for one of Batman’s villains, who would be the least horrible boss?

Oh no, the world is finally going to learn that I don’t know a damn thing about Batman. Uhh… I guess the Penguin strikes me as somebody who’s mostly just like a corporate fatcat, and at least I’m already used to working for those?

8. What was your favorite Flash game when you were a kid?

I’m sure there’s probably a more accurate answer, but the one that comes to mind was the underrated Nanaca Crash. It was kind of a riff off that game where the yeti hit the penguin with a baseball bat, where you’re trying to launch something for as long a distance as possible; but in this case it was a girl crashing into a guy with her bike and sending him flying. A bunch of characters stood on the ground who could hinder or give a boost. I’m sure it was based off of some anime or something; I never understood what the hell was going on. Fun to play though.

9. How do you rate stuff? 0-5 stars, 1-10 points, a secret third option? Do you use fractions/decimals?

A flat 1-5 with no decimals is enough 95% of the time.

10. What is the coolest flag?

I kind of like South Africa’s flag, it has a good selection of colors and a straightforward but unique design. Nepal might be a close second for the outside-the-box thinking when it comes to shape.

11. What's the best halloween costume you've ever pulled off?

I don’t really do costumes anymore ever since my high school included “Dress Like a Pirate” day for spirit week one year. Not a single other person seemed to know this was even a thing, everybody wondered why the hell I was dressed as a pirate. But in college I was asked to dress up as one of the Village People—the cop, specifically, probably because I worked for campus safety at the time (looking back at this experience, I can safely say: fuck cops). We were explicitly told NOT to wear our uniform at parties, but my roommate was a motorcyclist, so I covered it with his leather jacket and bike helmet. I must have borrowed some aviator sunglasses from somewhere, too. For one fleeting night, I was actually cool.

12. If Kirby ate you what ability would he get?

Playing devil’s advocate! Or procrastination.

13. How many hours do you have on your most played game?

Guild Wars 2 is reporting a total playtime of 1,822 hours, although I’m sure you could take off a least a hundred of that for idling. I’m trying to think of any games I might have poured that much time into as a kid; MAYBE Link’s Awakening, but that would have been a lot of battery replacements.

14. If you were in a fighting game, what would your character’s gimmick be? Intro animation? Special moves?

I think my character would be calm and slow-moving, with a focus on simple, well-timed dodges that result in my opponent damaging themselves. I enter the arena with a simple smile and wave, and my special move would be cooking some food that heals both of us.

15. What is the loudest you have ever been in a movie theatre?

When my campus did a screening of The Lion King, folks around us got mad at my friend and me for singing along with the songs. To which I steadfastly maintain: why bother going if you’re not going to sing along to the songs???

16. When travelling, do you unpack your things and get comfortable, or do you keep everything inside the suitcase and only take stuff out when you need to?

I used to be a live-out-of-my-suitcase guy, sometimes even for weeks after returning home. Nowadays I care about my clothes too much to keep them stuffed in the suitcase; I unpack most of it.

17. If you were in a band, what kind of music would you make?

Take my website, and try to picture it in music form. Pretty annoying, huh? That’s why I’m not a musician.

18. If you were tasked with creating a new Monster High character, what monster would they be designed after?

I am definitely too old to know this reference, but what I see in search results is kind of exactly what it says on the tin. My question is, what monsters haven’t been used at this point? Trying to come up with one, I decided on Krampus the anti-Santa. After looking into it, I don’t think it exists in an official capacity, but there’s definitely some fan art out there. So, I dunno. Maybe a mosquito? I think those count as monsters.

19. If you were a demon, which three items would people require to summon you?

Ooh, I like this one. Hmm. I would say: a warm slice of bread, an old-fashioned, and a tune played on a fiddle.

20. If you were an actor, would you prefer to be known for one role, or multiple?

One role. I would just play myself, a random-ass guy who nevertheless shows up in multiple movies, shows, and even a video game, with no regard for genre or time period. Sort of like the Wilhelm Scream of actors. Plus, I would enjoy seeing the efforts that YouTube creators would have to go through to piece all these otherwise unrelated pieces of media into one cohesive narrative universe.

21. Who is the most relatable fictional character ever?

There’s a joke that as a kid, you relate to SpongeBob, but as you grow up you identify with Squidward. That hits.

22. Without considering rent prices, what would your ideal home look like?

A small, simple space with a minimalist design and tasteful Scandinavian furniture. Nah, I dunno. I’m kind of drawn to modernist aethetics, but I’d also want one or two larger windows looking out into an undeveloped outdoor area. I don’t need big rooms or anything though, a small living space is fine for me.

23. What is the real life equivalent of -1 HP (assuming your max HP is 100)?

This feels like a coding error. So you ever hear stories of people surviving multiple hardships/injuries/etc. that each seem un-survivable on their own, let alone all of them together? This is how it happens.

24. Do you believe in aliens? What do you think they would look like?

It does seem unlikely that there isn’t life out there somewhere, many galaxies away. The problem is that they could look like anything. You figure, if humans hadn’t evolved, then in another tens or hundreds of thousands of years something like octopi or ants might have taken our place instead, and the world would look way different. But maybe I’d guess something like a sentient plant or fungal ecosystem that’s just kind of one sprawling entity instead of many small ones.

25. If you could pet any animal without there being any risk of getting attacked by it in the process, which one would you choose?

Canada geese look like you should be able to pick them up.

26. What is your favorite onomatopoeia?

This is a question I feel like I would have had an answer for 10 or 15 years ago. For now, the first one that comes to mind is thwack. A straightforward hitting sound, a little on the humorous side, not used as often as some of the major players in the onomatopoeia space.

27. What is something you enjoy doing despite being terrible at it?

DANCING.

28. Imagine you see a bowl full of candy, but you have no idea which flavor each one is. Which color would you pick?

When asked what my favorite foods are, one of my go-to joke answers is “anything flavored green”. You might get watermelon on occasion, but more often you’re either getting green apple or lime, both of which are absolute winners.

29. What is your favorite fun fact?

Man, I’ve debunked two or three good fun “facts” in the past five minutes just by looking them up, and the only one I have left in the tank is a buzzkill that I will spare you from. So I’m going to have to get back to you on this one.

30. How do you celebrate your birthday?

I don’t usually do much for my birthday, but lately I’ve used it as an excuse to take a day off of work and sit around the house drinking mojitos.

31. Imagine you’re in a train or bus that’s almost full, yet you have somehow acquired a perfect seat with nobody sitting next to you. What would be worse: someone sitting right beside you, or nobody wanting to sit next to you?

If nobody sat next to me the whole trip I wouldn’t even notice.

32. What is your favorite item of clothing you own?

I have this pair of gray denim jeans which have the PERFECT fit through the legs and thighs, and are in the sweet spot of being able to be worn either dressed up or down. Sadly, they are developing a hole in the crotch; I did a patch job but I don’t know how well it will hold. I could get another pair, but I forget what size they are; I don’t think it’s printed on the tag. But, this is a problem for a different day.

33. Is there anything that you expected to be a frequent thing in your life because of fiction that you were then really disapointed after finding out it only really happens in movies?

Yeah, it turns out stores and restaurants don’t typically give you fabulous prizes for being their ten-thousandth customer or whatever.

34. What’s your go-to pose for pictures?

That dumb grin on my About page? Yeah, that’s the one.

35. If you got lost in a mall, where would your friends look for you first?

Food court. Or, somewhere with fun hats.

36. How would you describe your perfect day?

Taking a day off of work to sit around the house and drink mojitos.

37. Do you think you could pass a middle school math exam right now without studying for it?

Absolutely. We’re talking, what, geometry and simple algebra? No sweat.

38. If you were a fictional character with a distinct theme song that plays in the background every time you enter a scene, what song would that be?

My answer for years has been Jumper from the Castle Crashers soundtrack.

39. Do you like your initials?

They’re fine. I added a crest behind them and slapped them on my business cards.

40. Do you collect anything?

Unplayed Steam games? Also cat hair.

41. Do you wear accesories? How often?

I have an analog watch I wear pretty much every time I leave the house; I don’t use it often, but I like having it. I also have a straw-ish trilby hat I wear occasionally in the summer when I’m feeling stylish (it actually looks good, I swear). Occasionally a scarf in the colder months, but not often. And I absolutely cannot go anywhere without putting on a belt, I feel naked without one.

42. Have you ever grown attached to something that was supposed to be a placeholder?

I dunno, I played a lot of Kirby’s Dream Land 2 as a kid, and Kirby was originally a placeholder character. You never said it had to be my placeholder.

43. If you were invited to a potluck, what would you bring?

Oh, I’ve seen my share of potlucks in my day. I’ve been all over the potluck map, though I usually skew towards sweet or savory breads.

44. What socks are you wearing right now?

Caught ya, sucker, I’m barefoot right now! I really should put on socks though, my tootsies are getting chilly.

45. How often do you take pictures of yourself?

The question is, how often do I take ones I intend to keep? Sometimes I take a selfie with a pet to send to Mrs. Skep as something cute. But an actual, decent picture? Dunno, maybe once a year.

46. Where is your favorite place to hang out?

47. If you died and became a ghost, who, where, or what would you haunt for the rest of eternity?

Maybe just, like, a wooden spoon or something completely innocuous. People would swear the wooden spoon is behaving oddly, but wouldn’t be able to explain how.

48. What is something that we deem as normal but is actually pretty weird when you think about it?

DRIVING. Holy shit, who thought it was a good idea to give everybody a one-to-two-ton hunk of metal powered by explosions to get around everywhere? It’s so dangerous that you’re not even allowed to do it unless you have insurance. Being able to cover costly mistakes is a requirement. And we’ve normalized it! My employer expects me take this ludicrous method of transportation into the office every day! Doesn’t matter if it’s wet out or, god, even night—“Yeah, we’ll just strap a couple giant flashlights to the front of the car, that should be fine.” Meanwhile I’m out there driving around hoping that some part of my car doesn’t decide to randomly fail and kill me on the spot. How does nobody else think about this every day???

49. What is your most useless skill?

I can spot when a period that shouldn’t be bolded is bolded.

50. How often do you swear?

Occasionally, mostly at home. “Shit” is my go-to; I wish it was something a little classier, but it is what it is I guess.

51. What motivates you?

Good question! I’ll let you know once I find something.

52. If you were famous, what would your autograph look like?

I don’t suspect I’d change it much from what it is currently, which is: sorta looks like the first letter of my name followed by a bunch of haphazard scribbles.

53. What is something you haven’t done in a long time that you would love to try again?

We took a family road trip to Yellowstone one year; I was 19, and between being bummed about the lack of internet and sick of being in the car, I don’t think I appreciated it nearly as much as I would now.

54. Is there any food that you think looks really tasty, but you don’t actually like it, you just like the idea of it?

Cheesecake. I do not like cheesecake, unless it’s from my friend at work who makes the only good cheesecake. If its not hers, then it will disappoint me every time.

55. What do you think of piracy (as in watching movies illegally, not literal pirates)?

I think you’ll get some abusers who will just pirate everything like it’s a hobby, and that’s probably a bit unnecessary. But for the most part people just do it here and there, either because they can’t afford it and wouldn’t be buying it anyway, or to avoid predatory pricing practices, so I don’t really care. The stuff that’s high quality, folks will be willing to pay for.

56. If you accidentaly stole something from a store, how expensive would it have to be for you to feel guilty and go back inside to pay for it?

Depends on the store. If it’s a small, local business, I’d probably just go back no matter how low the value just to support them. A big box store or something, hard to say. Maybe something like a blender I’d be okay walking away with.

57. What is the best gift you have ever recieved?

The gift of life! Just kidding. It was a stand mixer.

58. Do you like keeping a schedule, or do you prefer to rawdog all your responsibilities?

Well, that’s certainly one way to put it. But in the spirit of the question, I guess I’m “raw-dogging” it over here.

59. Have you ever installed a virus in your computer?

What, like intentionally? No. Accidentally back when our family PC ran Windows 95? Man, I don’t know, shit was wild back then.

60. What is your favorite thing to write with?

I don’t really like advertising the stuff I use, but my Keychron K5 SE mechanical keyboard with low-profile keycaps and Bluetooth connectivity has been my trusty companion these last few years, both at work and at home. The numberpad is vital to me—dashes and curly quotes require alt-codes.

61. If you didn’t have to worry about money, what would your ideal job be?

I always thought voice acting would be fun. I do not have the voice for it.

62. What’s the furthest away from your home you have been?

Remember when I mentioned Yellowstone?

63. Are birthdays a holiday?

No. But take off of work and sit around the house drinking mojitos anyway.

64. Is there anything people say reminds them of you but you don’t really see the resemblance?

I have a friend who is convinced I’m the reincarnation of Oscar Wilde. I look nothing like Oscar Wilde.

65. How often do you rewatch media you like?

Not nearly as often as I used to, that’s for sure.

66. What animal is your fursona?

I don’t have a fursona, but if I did, I might lean raccoon. I’ve always liked raccoons.

67. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I’d give myself a British accent. Or, maybe a little ambition. Either one of those would be fine.

68. If you were an enemy in a video game, what loot would you drop after you die?

Maybe you’d have to defeat me to unlock a new outfit. That might be fun.

69. If your life was a TV show, what would play on the intro?

What, like an opening theme song, or what scenes would be shown? It would probably just be similar to The Good Place, which has the title card and a brief musical cue. Nothing fancy, gets the job done.

70. How often do you wear your favorite shirt?

Man, which shirt is my favorite? I don’t know that I have one, but the ones I wear most frequently I might pull into rotation every other week.

71. What kind of clothes do you wear to the airport?

Mostly what I wear normally—jeans, shirt, normal clothes. I do still wear my belt, even though I have to take it off for the scanner. Usually some sort of light jacket or hoodie that’s easy to carry. The only thing I might change is my shoes; I’ll usually wear whatever’s bulkiest so I don’t have to pack them.

72. What do you do when you find a bug in your house?

Utilize the ol’ glass-and-postcard trick to get it out.

73. What is your opinion on “so bad it's good” media?

Fun, but I don’t seek it out. Well, okay, that’s not true, we usually sign up for the Hallmark Channel in December so we can watch a couple bad Christmas movies and make fun of them. This is as close to “Christmas spirit” as Skep gets.

74. If you were abducted by aliens but didn’t have proof, who would you tell? Would you even tell anyone, or take it to the grave?

I’d probably write a blog post about it, but make it jokey enough to retain plausible deniability that it actually happened.

75. If you met someone with a personality identical to yours, would you two get along?

I actually briefly dated somebody who basically had the same personality as me. We got along as friends, but for a partner, I quickly realized that I absolutely need somebody who is nothing like me.

76. If you were stuck in a time loop, how long would it take you to start doing batshit insane stuff that you would never do otherwise?

It would definitely need to be long enough that all hope of escaping the time loop naturally had evaporated from my mind. So at least a week.

77. If you magically lost the ability to feel embarrassment, would your life be better or worse?

Oh, my life would absolutely be better, hundred percent. But I would never want that because I would be a far, far worse person.

78. How do you draw yourself (bonus points if you add an image)?

Please refer to Skep’s Complaint Corner on this page.

79. What is your favorite storytelling medium?

I really don’t do movies or TV much anymore. I guess I’d have to go with video games for this. Kind of a boring answer, I can’t make them all winners.

80. What do you think is your most noticeable feature?

I like to think my relaxed, easygoing nature. But maybe it’s my glasses, hell if I know.

81. Imagine you're a character from a cartoon that wears the same clothes every episode. What would those clothes be? Would you have any different outfits for unique occasions like a beach episode or a Christmas special, or wear the same thing all season ’round?

I would probably just wear some basic blue jeans and a simple button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. I’d switch to a nice, thick sweater for episodes that take place in the winter months. I’m probably a background character in this cartoon, so that feels like enough variety.

82. Who do you main in Mario Kart? Smash Bros? Any other kind of video game where you pick your character?

In Mario games my main is usually Daisy; I’ve used her since Mario Kart Wii, mostly because she would do a Nelson Muntz “ha ha!” when you hit someone with a shell. She does not do this anymore and it is very sad, but I am still fond of her. Back when I played Overwatch, my mains were mostly Zenyatta, Junkrat, and Tracer, and maybe Zarya counts. How much more do we want? In Team Fortress 2 I did a lot of Medic, Soldier, and Scout. Hmm… in the older Dynasty Warriors I used to main Jiang Wei. In SSX I went with Zoe, but in SSX Tricky I switched to Brodi (which is the only choice I am embarrassed by in retrospect). I’d say that’s a pretty good roundup.

83. If someone told you they were stuck in a time loop and needed your help, would you believe them?

Probably not. Not unless they suddenly developed some sort of time-loop-induced trauma over the course of a day, then maybe. Mostly I’d just want to know what they hell they thought I could do. My brother’s a physicist, go talk to him.

84. What kind of bag do you carry?

None generally, but I do have a company-issued backpack I use to take my laptop and keyboard into the office. I have another small backpack from an older company that’s decent for hiking or taking through the airport. Or sometimes I use my New Yorker tote bag; I don’t actually read the New Yorker—I tried but didn’t keep up with it—but it is a nice tote bag.

85. If you were a fictional character, in which ways would the fandom mischaracterize you?

I’ve actually had a few different people in real life recently make the comment that I don’t like the fall season. I never said this! I like fall! I just like summer more, and fall leads into winter which I absolutely do not like. But fall is good! Easily in my top three!

86. Do you have beef with an inanimate object?

I swear my robot vacuum is drinking on the job.

87. Are you a stereotype?

Yes. I’m the nerdy, harmless white guy who thinks he’s more clever and interesting than he actually is.

88. What’s the weirdest place you have ever slept?

As part of a challenge, I spent a night a few years ago sleeping outside on my deck in the middle of December. I had to wear so many layers to stay warm, the deck was obviously uncomfortable, and it was so bright out that I had to pull the sleeping back up over my eyes. But I did sleep after the owl started hooting, which I have to say, was incredibly calming.

89. Do you have a catchphrase?

Not really, though I notice I’ve been saying “good lord” an awful lot lately.

90. What is an inedible item that you think would be really tasty if you could eat it?

Pinecones really seem like they ought to be edible. Or at least easier to eat.

91. What is the best part of amusement parks?

Staying home and saving eighty bucks.

92. What do you keep in your pockets?

Wallet and phone. Sometimes a cloth to keep my glasses clean. My sunglasses in my back pocket, if I’m outside. I am a simple man.

93. When you're trying to test if a pen works, what do you write/draw?

Mostly just curly scribbles. Again, I am a simple man.

94. Why is your favorite movie your favorite?

For starters, what would I say my favorite movie is? Gosh, I’m really flaky about picking a favorite anything. Okay, small pivot—let’s go with my guilty pleasure movie instead, which is Miss Congeniality. And like, I dunno, it’s an easy watch, it’s got jokes, it’s not cynical when it has every opportunity to be. It’s just fun, and you know how I feel about things that are fun for the sake of being fun.

95. If someone who doesn’t know you saw your YouTube history, what kind of person would they think you are?

“Wow, this person sure does like watching two-hour-plus essays about video games from the 2000s.”

96. Would you live in a house that’s rumored to be haunted if the house was really, really nice, and the rent was incredibly cheap?

To quote Ray Parker Jr.: I ain’t afraid of no ghost.

97. Would you prefer to sleep in the top or the bottom of a double-decker bed?

I slept in the top bunk as a kid, and I did spend a summer sleeping in a loft bed at college. But if given the choice: I’m afraid of heights, dibs on the bottom.

98. How do you feel about outer space?

Solid 4 out of 5. Kinda cold, needed a jacket.

99. What is the best compliment you have ever received?

A new coworker who seemed really anxious and felt like she was always being judged told me a few months after she started that I was the first person at the company she really felt comfortable with. I wasn’t anybody special, just the guy in the cube next to hers. But I cherish that compliment all the same.

100. If your life was a movie, what would the genre be?

You know, I’m fine just being a slice-of-life comfort flick. That’s all I’d really like to be.